Albie Morkel.. Why? What have I ever done to you? I think I have looked after you pretty well in the two games we have played against each other. ….. You walk past me at the non strikers end and tell me you want half volleys on leg stump, I deliver! You want the next one to be a slower ball bouncer that you can squirt backward of square for four, I deliver. When I asked you to bowl an old school sand shoe crusher and break my 5th metatarsal… I WAS ONLY JOKING!! Save that stuff for Christmas Day against your king sized brother!! Because of your lack of humour Albie, I have had to sit on the couch for three weeks and put on 10kgs!
It doesn’t hurt to have a little rant from time to time. Much better way of releasing your tension than making a home movie about a chook – Too soon…?
The recovery of my foot has been a lot slower than expected. I was in visiting Dr Humphries last Friday – he was looking at my X-Ray, which showed that the break was still displaced. He turned and looked at me and said “Brett, you really are a…………….”
Let’s stop the Blog and play a game for a quick moment. You get the chance to guess what Dr Humphries called me. I will help you out a little by taking you back into moments of my life when people have used this word to describe me.
1. I’m sitting in a classroom, I’m 15-years-old, I might have a finger up my nose… and I can hear the voice of my Year 5 teacher saying to my parents “We think Brett might be a little………” – What could the word be?
2. Simon Katich has taken a liking to what I’m serving up to him (yet again) in a 4 day game at the SCG. I bowl him a bouncer that he lets hit him on the shoulder. I get a little happy with myself and think that on this occasion I’m too quick for him. I say “Listen to me Hairy Man; you know I’m too quick for you and you’re a little scared of what I’m sending your way, so why don’t you just kick your stumps over and let’s be done with it!” – The reply, “I let you hit me so I could rest my arms as I’m getting tired of hooking you into the Ponsford Stand – You are without doubt the ………….. piece of poo bowler I have ever faced” mmmmm what’s that word?
3. The last clues – Let’s try some Music Lyrics – David Gray sings this one.. “Life in …….. Motion somehow it don’t feel real” - Remember this one from the late 90’s? Its Taxiride with “Creepin up ……….” And what about the second verse of the Springsteen classic Blood Brothers –“Now the hardness of this world …………. grinds your dreams away”
How did you go with all that? The answers are 1. Slow – yes, the year 5 Teacher thought her 15 year old nose picking student was a little slow – 2. Slowest. Take it easy Simon. I’m not Gautam Gambhir! 3. Life In Slow Motion – Creepin up Slowly – Slowly grinds your dreams away. I had to get some Springsteen in there somewhere!
Dr Dave Humphries called me a slow healer. Probably a fair statement. Previous ankle surgeries have seen me sidelined for longer than originally thought and I did miss a four day game because of an ING Cup hangover… What!? Who said that!?
Moving on… Tasmania has signed NSW Opening Batsmen Ed Cowan. Little Eddie is a tremendous player and in the right environment he will thrive. I have known Ed for a almost a decade, playing the majority of Junior cricket against him and enjoying a beer or 10 after most games we have played in. My record against Ed is very good. If you look back through the stats you will see that I have dismissed Ed on 4 out of a possible 7 times. This is an exceptional record given that apart from Ed I have not dismissed a left hander in four years… To be fair to Ed, I have not dismissed him when it counts – First Class Cricket. The Tassie boys are looking forward to welcoming Ed into the squad in true Tassie style.. We will dak him at the school assembly and tie his superman boxers to the top of the flag pole on Day 1 – Day 2 we will steal his lunch money and make him eat my Dad’s homemade Belgium and pickle sandwiches – Day 3 I will steal his lunch money again while the other boys steal his Reebok Pumps… We don’t have Pumps in Tassie yet – Day 4 he will bring his own lunch thinking that no one will like his Dad’s homemade croissants fresh from the oven smeared in butter and strawberry jam… Foolish move! By the time I have polished off his lunch I will be ready for the “stacks on Eddie” followed by nipple cripples and Chinese burns until the Principal does his routine check of Smoker’s corner. Good luck Ed.
You can’t imagine how many social activities I’ve missed out on... Monday night at the Bowling alley, Tuesday at the rink dropping pirouettes and my dignity as I land on my backside again, Wednesday is Woody’s Roller World; Thursday saw an invitation for some “Magic” card role playing. My phone rang and I could hear some Wizard on the other end… He said “Brett my son, you are a planeswalker with an arsenal of sorcery at your command. You have laid eyes upon the Blind Eternities. In the vast Multiverse, only you and your kind know of the countless worlds beyond your own. Your gift drives you to seek out Magical knowledge, to test your limits, to forge your destiny. Your journey begins here”. Once I could get off the ground and wipe the tears from my face I kindly turned down Xavier Doherty’s offer…. It would have been good to catch up with Dykesy - Lead wizard with a five star health source, can’t be killed when holding the chip platter, Coyley Leader of the Multiverse (similar to He-Man, Master of the Universe, but without the cool armour and blonde flowing locks) can sporn into any of his Multiverse and you can’t see him… His Multiverse is my backyard. Good luck finding the little fella in grass that covers your knees.
In brief, The Hawks found their feet, then lost them again and then. The Big Fevolution lost his feet which in turn gave the Hawks their feet back. Confused? My Mavericks conquered the Manu Ginoboliless Spurs in a hard fought 4 – 1 Series win. They move into the Second Round to face a Long and Athletic Denver Nuggets. Game 1 going the way of the Nuggets.. J Kidd a game high 8 turnovers – Mavs to turn it around and win in 6.